I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
did i just pee glitter
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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