Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
