Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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