Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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