Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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