Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
