There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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