Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
