The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Randomize
