He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
