i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
