well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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