Sponge bath it is.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
