**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
