I want to walk on stilts...naked
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
