I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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