I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
