first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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