even my farts smell like vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
