atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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