And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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