brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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