Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
