This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
