I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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