are you so shy because you have an std?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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