I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
