Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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