I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
