Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
