We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
