I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize