Apparently you make a good broom.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize