I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
