theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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