I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize