My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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