watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
