I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
