we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize