if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
