Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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