i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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