in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I understand Curling. That high.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
