What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
