i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
