Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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