Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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