went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
