hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
