I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize