Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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