if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
