I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
