So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
