Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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