What did we do last night that was yellow?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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