Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
