stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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