My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I enjoy the company of your penis
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
