So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
