I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
